This post was originally from my first ever blog at The entry dated May 5, 2008.

When I left the house this morning, it was in a complete mess. The bed was unmade and the clothes that need washing is piling up at one corner. The only one thing that I managed to settle was clearing the dishes from last night’s quick dinner. Having to invigilate at 9am, I had to leave my place as early as 8am and that explains a lot of my untidy “nest”.

Moving around is rather taxing nowadays, as my baby is developing rapidly inside and that is clearly shown by the size of my belly. On top of that, I am seriously putting on weight. The edema (water retention in body that usually occur during pregnancy) doesn’t help at all as my left wrist stiffened for the past 4 days and it hurts especially in the morning. Today I woke up with an additional pain in my hip and the after effect of cramp of my left leg, thanks to my inappropriate sleeping position as a result of my sub-conscious habitual somersault in bed. So basically today, my day started off with a pain in the ass, minus the baby YET. In two months’ time, my routine will be totally changed and I wonder if I able to cope with hectic schedule – knowing that my baby will require undivided attention.

I often believe that I can be a supermom, as taking care of the house chores, the baby and my job doesn’t appear to be a long list. In fact it shouldn’t be when you have enough rest and someone else is doing the juggling as well. In my case, I will be totally alone and I don’t like the idea of hiring a maid as I don’t favor having a stranger sharing my territory. Meowww….

For the first two months, we will be taken care by my mother, who even suggested that I leave Iris in Miri once my maternity leave is up. Another equally brilliant suggestion came from my husband who asked me to leave my girl in Sri Aman with my in-laws while I frequent her every weekend. Thanks but “No” to the first suggestion and another big “No…” to the latter one.

I realize they meant well. Both of them were worried that I might not be able to handle my new role as a mother, but one always need to learn and when is the best to learn if it is not the earliest possible? I believe after 2 months, I will definitely master the required skills to handle my girl’s needs.

As Darwin’s notioned “survival of the fittest”, we human beings will adapt to situations when changes take place. I trust the maternal instinct will somehow drive a mother to uphold her responsibilities as much as she could, if not exceeding the limit what human beings can do to fend for their young ones.